Stop Being a Victim (Guide)

A blue sign that says "stop" with a lizard sitting on top of it.

It is time to get personal. The subject of this article is one of the biggest walls that I have had to break through in my life to get to where I am today. More importantly, I know that it is one of the biggest challenges people in general must break through to get to where they want to be. And that is how to stop being a victim. More specifically, I want to talk about why you should stop being a victim.

Why Being a Victim is Attractive

A life preserver floating in a pool to save a victim.

It is unfortunate that our culture has become a sort of cult of the victim. I am not blaming people who are truly victims for their problems. But I am saying that at some point a victim became something people ARE rather than a TRAGIC CIRCUMSTANCE that afflicts a person with an independent identity, hopes, and dreams. When did being a victim become part of a person’s identity and not a challenge to surmount?

About the same time that we became uncomfortable with tragedy. You see, when our society decided that terrible things should never happen, we made it our responsibility to “save” every person who suffered. That is the watershed moment that it became profitable to become a victim. And people took advantage. Now, there is hardly a difference between how we treat people who suffer truly tragic experiences and those who want attention; everyone profits from pity.

My Background

As I grew up, I didn't know a single wealthy person. I was not in contact with ambitious thinkers. I had no friends who were going places and achieving amazing things in their life. And to a large extent I still do not.

I've come from a small farm town in central Indiana. The towns in which I spent my childhood were small. I would be the last to knock small towns, because I think they offer great environment in which to grow up. But my personal ambition made me a bit of an irregularity in those communities.  

It is often way easier to become a victim of our circumstances or our environment around us, than to be a creator of our destiny and future. Ask yourself, What do I want my life to look like?

Our Biggest Challenge is to Stop Being a Victim

A blue neon sign that says "work harder."

I think the biggest challenge most people face is the conditioning we receive as children that encourages us to think and act and behave in a certain way. Unless we decide to break out of the mold that shaped us, we allow other people to dictate what we accomplish. What we see, the words we listen to, and the experiences we entertain daily determine our values and our belief systems.

We often choose to become a victim of our circumstances.  We allow our conditioning to force us to think a certain way rather than breaking free from our demons by following our desire to create a better existence for ourselves.

End the Victim Cycle

Why? Because people are sheep. We follow the same patterns, live out the same loops, and operate on auto pilot using comfortable habits and behaviors.

You need to consciously break out of that prison. Remind yourself that you do not want to allow your past to dictate the person you become, and your dreams and ambitions. If you want to create an amazing life for yourself, you must release your baggage, conditioning, and the limiting beliefs you have dragged with you. If you can accomplish that minor feat, you may be able to create an amazing life for yourself.

Don’t Be a Victim: Dare to Create a Vision

Cans that spell out, "I feel like makin' dreams come true" against a concrete wall.

After you have learned to reject the forecasts people made for you in the past, it is now time to create a grand vision for your life. You need to create a perfect picture of what a good life looks like and means to you. What do you want for your business?  What do you want from your health? Where do you want to be financially? How do you want to develop your wisdom and knowledge? How can you build the connections that will help you?

It is time to replace all those belief systems and archaic conditioning that we learned from our environment with a beautiful vision for a better existence for ourselves and those we love.

We need to reassess the world through the lens of our newly acquired hope, believing that we are something powerful, an agent of change, rather than a helpless victim of our circumstances.

The Challenge

I challenge you to become a dreamer. Set ambitious goals. Work hard to accomplish your vision. Move towards those things that inspire you deeply. Fight against the currents of past circumstances; do not let them define you. Remember that you create your reality.

I could have woken up this morning to find myself trapped in a broken-down farm house in central India, but I made the choice to believe that I could create something amazing; I chose to build my identity around a vision rather than as a victim of my circumstances.

That is what I want from you.

Share Your Story

I would love to hear your story about how you built up the strength to stop being a victim, and the things you are currently struggling against. Where and how did you grow up? How have those circumstances shaped you to become the person you are today? I would love to hear about it. Imagine how awesome it would be if you could inspire someone else. Leave a comment.

Good luck!